Welcome to June! Different format this month: “watch this, not that.”

June 7: Watch either After Earth if you want some Shakespearan style dialogue and watch Much Ado About Nothing if you are ready for some scifi action. But seriously, I probably trust Joss Whedon–The Avengers–and Nathan Fillion–”Castle”–more with scifi than Will Smith and M. Night Shyamalan with it, but both look like good movies. Do not watch The Internship because the premise is cheesy pie and the preview does not make me laugh. But what do I know, I would not have watched Old School based on its preview.

June 12/14: Watch This Is The End, not The Bling Ring. Both have Emma Watson in them. She would have been the only reason to see The Bling Ring, which has the dubious distinction of being both a pun, and a terrible name even if you ignore the pun.

June 21: Watch Unfinished Song, not World War Z or Monsters University. Maybe WWZ will kick ass, maybe. Maybe MU will be half as good as the original, maybe. But Unfinished Song is the type of movie that everyone enjoys, but no-one bothers to see. It has Terrance Stamp–The Limey–as a widower who fills in for his late wife in her choir. It will be funny, touching, and bittersweet.

June 28: Do not watch The Heat, but really do not watch White House Down. Unfunny female odd-couple buddy cop flick with Sandra Bullock or Roland “Some people just want to watch the world burn” Emmerich blowing up the White House while a rent-a-cop tries to juggle saving the president and his son. Rent Heat and wait for July. Or go see Unfinished Song since you did not listen to me last week.