I can’t just go running off into the blue! I am a Baggins, of Bag End!
This installment covers approximately the first 40% of the classic fantasy novel. Below I have used Alan Lee’s illustrations to provide a synopsis of what happens in the film. I chose his because they were my first introduction to the Hobbit. Later, I will criticize the use of deformity and ugliness in Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth. Also, if not specified all pictures are his and copyrighted by Houghton Mifflin.
First, the film avoids “In a hole in the ground lived a Hobbit,” instead opting to wade into some pleasant nostalgia. Seeing Bilbo and Frodo together again was amazing. It might have hindered the film to get off to such a slow start, but I loved it in the moment.
Gandalf, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and their host Bilbo.
Second, the film goes back 60 years to a young, 50-something Bilbo. He meets Gandalf who then invites 13 Dwarves into Bag End. They have a meeting and Gandalf offers Bilbo as a thief for their mission to retake The Lonely Mountain, or at least to get back its gold. Years ago the Dwarves lost it to a dragon, Smaug. The only two songs in the entire film are sung in Bag End, including the excellent “Far over the misty mountain cold.”
Third, Bilbo joins the company. From outside the book, wizard Radgast the Brown makes an appearance—hereafter I will try not to include anything not from the book. Soon Gandalf leaves to look ahead. Which leads to the classic scene with the trolls, the evidence of which appeared in Fellowship of the Ring.
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) in New Line Cinema’s Lord of the Rings.
And then the company pillages the troll’s horde. Which indirectly leads to this scene also in Fellowship. The sword, Sting, is not glowing because no orcs are near.
Frodo (Elijah Wood) & Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm) in Last Homely House East of the Sea. New Line Cinema, Fellowship.
Fourth, contrary to Thorin Oakenshield’s wishes the company goes to Rivendell for a short rest. There Elrond translates the old Dwarvish on their map, because even Gandalf cannot read it. When they leave they know they must hurry since their secret entrance into the mountain will only be visible one day of the year. Also, two more non-book characters show up, at least according to my memory of the book.
Fifth, the company gets stuck in a battle between stone giants. Yes! They did not remove something of such scale and power that it could have stepped on the might Balrog without a second thought. Taking refuge in a cave, the Dwarves get captured and Gandalf shows up, with Glamdring shining bright! Well, sometimes light reflects off it, but as the film says, blades made by the high elves glow when orcs are near. So Gandalf’s sword should glow. It should have glowed in Lord of the Rings, so should Thorin’s new sword, Orcrist. However for some reason only Sting glows.
Gollum in his long time home.
Sixth, while the Dwarves fight for their lives, Frodo has fallen deep into the mountain and is totally lost. Fortunately he comes across a ring. The One Ring.
Bilbo finds the ring in the prologue of Fellowship. New Line Cinema.
This has the true story of how Bilbo came by it, including his riddle battle with Gollum, not his later half-truths about it. And then how he follows Gollum to “safety”…
Dwarves surrounded by wolves.
Seventh, to Thorin’s shock, Bilbo did not leave when he got the chance and survived the orcs of the misty mountains. Unfortunately the company goes from the frying pan into the fire, as an army of wolves has them trapped. Fortunately some giant eagles arrived and saved their lives. Thus about two and half hours have passed since Smaug last appeared on the screen. Finally as the film closes we get our first good look at the beast.
Onto something that first bothered me in Return of the King. For some reason, ugly equates to evil in Peter Jackson’s mind. Imagine every positive character in Lord of the Rings. With the exception of the dwarves, they are all very good looking. Even Aragorn starts out looking grimy when Jackson wanted us to think he was evil. Compare Grima Wormtongue with his scratched scalp to the long haired, muscled Eomer. There is nothing that could have been done about Gollum’s looks, but consider the orc leaders. Grishnákh—the Mordor orc who says, “Let’s put a maggot hole in your belly,” has male pattern baldness. As if being an orc were not sufficiently unattractive, this way we knew that this is an extra evil orc. Or see the extremely improbably promoted Gothmog—there is no ADA in Mordor. He appears to be suffering from massive amounts of cancer and is unable to use his left arm. He is also an albino. Basically he is as unattractive as it can get, so he is the most evil of the orcs.
From The Return of the King, New Line Cinema.
A non-orc who is ugly is the Mouth of Sauron. While it is a cool trick to have made his mouth humongous, the effect is to make someone with giant bad teeth; someone whose decapitation is applauded. I think that his looks play a major role in this, because in Jackson’s world the uglier the more evil.
Moving to The Hobbit, look to the Great Goblin—pictured beneath ¶ Fourth. He is large, in charge, and not described as a handsome creature. Now look below:
From The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, New Line Cinema.
Horrible, right? He does not have a double chin, he has giant gizzard. I do not think that this is merely an attempt to make creatures as frightening as possible. While I feared baldness, I doubt an orc’s baldness is more frightening to children. And cancer is evil, not a sign of evil. I do not think this is just directorial laziness. If he had five minutes to tell a story and wanted you to root for someone he could look like Luke Skywalker and fight someone dressed as Darth Vader, no these are years of work and carefully chosen looks.
If I had to wildly speculate, I would look at Peter Jackson—who has been described as Hobbit-looking—and say that he hated himself for not being more attractive. That he places a great deal into physical looks because of his own insecurities and self-loathing. But I do not think his actual reasons are actually important. What is important is the impact on the millions of impressionable viewers who watch these films. I wish this were more rare, but just look to Django Unchained and see Leonardo DiCaprio’s teeth. Sure, that movie is set in the Antebellum South, but Jamie Foxx’s teeth look fine. Or watch Horrible Bosses and see Colin Farrell’s comb-over. It is as if all it takes to become a villain it to take an attractive person and deprive them of their good looks. I am sick of having otherwise good films reinforce psychological analysis that was outdated by the turn of the 20th century. An attractive person is just as like to be a jerk as an unattractive person. Hopefully film will reflect that some day, without beating us over the head with a message of accepting someone afflicted with a deformity.
***½
Other than having too few songs, lasting too long, and having Radagast seem too trippy, this was a very good film. The battles, costumes, landscapes were phenomenal. If only it could have decided between nostalgia and novelty, this could have been a great film.
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