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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

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****

Don’t say what, Dixon. When she comes in calling you a “f*ckhead.”

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In Bruges was one of those movies that seemingly no-one wanted to see, but that everyone who had seen it really appreciated. That was Martin McDonagh’s first film, and he wrote and directed it. He followed that up with Seven Psychopaths, which I would have seen in theaters had it come out 10 years earlier. I still have not seen it. In Bruges took a look at morality within the world of hitmen. The cast was phenomenal for a first movie: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleason, Ciarian Hinds, and Jordan Prentice. In my mind Jordan Prentice was Peter Dinklage, which is a testament to how good his performance was in my memory, because Dinklage is a great actor. Colin Farrell returned in Seven Psychopaths which looks like it leaned more into the kitschy aspect of crime. It also starred two people who would return in 3 Billboards: Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell. 3 Billboards seemed to eschew the criminal focus of his first two movies to shift onto the results of crime on the family and the community. Harrelson plays the terminally ill sheriff who cannot find the rapist-murderers of Frances McDormand’s daughter. Rockwell plays the racist local police officer who has violence issues.

Like McDonagh’s prior films, there are no real heroes, or main characters who can even reach the level of being decent human beings. It is the morality of flawed, even bad, people that he wants to explore. It takes a lot to make the mother of a victim of terrible violence to be unsympathetic, but McDonagh pushes for that and McDormand delivers. The most likable character in the film is an alcoholic dwarf played by Peter Dinklage. I like how McDonagh includes little people actors in his movies without making their stature their defining characteristic. Instead it’s substance abuse, but at least it’s not superficial.

The one actor I noticed who appeared in all three of his films is Zeljko Ivanek. I have been a fan of his since “Homicide: Life on the Street.” I have finally convinced my wife to watch that show because it makes “Brooklyn 99” infinitely more meaningful. Ivanek played the assistant district attorney on Homicide and has been an excellent character actor ever since. He is my favorite Slovenian actor. His role as the department’s Desk Sergeant in this film allowed him to show more range than his character’s name suggests.

Lastly, I do not always tackle the controversy surrounding films, but because I was aware of it, and it impacted how I viewed this film, I want to address it. Sam Rockwell’s Dixon redemption is the source of that controversy. I had read how he went from a racist cop to a decent man. Accordingly, I kept waiting for his salvation or for him to become a hero. From a plot standpoint, you may root for something he does to pay off, but that does not make someone a hero. Just as a bully’s realization that they are a bully does not absolve them of their crimes, Dixon is not saved, nor does he become a hero. That the film is tone deaf enough for a sizable portion of viewers to walk away feeling that the film had treated him like he had is a fair criticism of the effectiveness of McDonagh’s otherwise well made film. Reading that he is Irish made sense to me.

Personally, I like pro-wrestling analysis on youtube. The youtube channel that gets a lot of credit for bringing a ton of wrestling fans back into the fold is Old School Wrestling Review, with Jay Hunter. Jay is Irish and so are his friends, who appear on his show in a rotating lineup. Them watching 1980s wrestling gives them ample opportunities to comment on racism, but more often than not their attitude is one unironic enjoyment and occasionally self-indulgence. That, and to a lesser extent the sexism, are why I don’t watch their almost universally beloved product. Recently a new channel, Wrestling Bios, has sprung up and the reviewer is also Irish. His approach is more earnest and he rarely tries to insert himself into the reviews, but when something is accused of being racist he tends to innocently disagree. What they have in common is that they believe the accused’s versions of events and look for 1950s overt racism as the standard of proof. McDonagh, as an Irishman, might come from a culture that is still in the 1980s when it comes to racial sensitivity. In 1988, I believe far fewer people would have noticed Dixon’s potentially problematic position in this movie. That is why an otherwise astute observer who created such three dimensional bad people, might step on a landmine labeled POLICE-RACE-MISSOURI in size 120 font.

In act 2 Clarke Peters’ state trooper captain appears and fires Dixon. Clark Peters is black. In 1980s logic, that might qualify as racial justice, but not in 2017. Either McDonagh saw it that way, or he simply did not view Dixon’s story as a redemptive one. I see Dixon as the anti-Loki, with Sheriff Willoughby (Harrelson) as Thor. Loki is handsome, articulate and cunning. Dixon is an idiot who talks like a putz. Only Thor sees Loki as a decent being, hidden beneath a false exterior. Only Willoughly writes to Dixon and claims, “deep down, you’re a decent man.”

Without the Dixon controversy, and with even one character to form an emotional connection, this movie could have been great. Even with those flaws it was still a very compelling story with some excellent performances. Hopefully for McDonagh’s next film he heads back to Europe and steers clear of racial politics.

Jupiter Ascending

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**½

I create life! And I destroy it. Life is an act of consumption, Jupiter. To live is to consume. Now, the human beings on your planet are merely a resource waiting to be converted into capital. And this entire enterprise is just a small part in a vast and beautiful machine defined by evolution, designed to a single purpose… To create profit.

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This movie had a lot of halves. It was half gorgeous, half well designed, half well acted, half totally bananas, half exciting, half exposition dumps, and the other half of totally bananas. For a change of pace in writing this, I decided to read the user reviews on IMDb.  What I found was gold. Not in people agreeing with me, but from the people who disagreed with me and who could not understand how this movie was so under-appreciated.

I have tried to pick out things I agree with, from within only crazy reviews. This has turned out to be more challenging than I thought.

This film is basically a mash-up of Dune, John Carter and Doctor Who (and quite a few others). Not the worst film I’ve ever seen by far. [Jupiter-Mila Kunis] can’t really fight, but she can slap around a bad guy who can’t fight either. I avoided this movie like the plague as it had such low ratings by users and critics, so I thought it would be a complete waste of time. It’s stupid. The conclusion: it is so pointless that this must be the point.

And those were from the positive reviews. Among those reviews there is a lot of anti-critical sentiment. There always are with movies of this ilk, because of confirmation bias. That is my psychological opinion, at least! If critics only said what viewers already thought, they would be considered experts by those viewers. I think that experts can all agree, that this is not a misunderstood masterpiece, but instead an overpacked story with an insufficiently explored backstory that might have made for a very popular TV series, if it had avoided 50% of the bananas decisions that were made by the Wachowskis in this movie. Even with all of its flaws the movie kept my attention and I wanted to see how it would end.

Greyhound

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***½

We have a kill.

I was certain that Lieutenant Charlie Cole was being played by Donnie Wahlberg. But no! It was actually Stephen Graham. To quote Obi-Wan Kenobi, “Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. A long time.” He was Tommy in Snatch! He was in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy! Even Rocketman. I don’t know why he seemed like Donnie Wahlberg. Maybe it’s that his American accent was so Wahlbergian.

Lt. Cole is one of the four or five recognizable characters in the movie. I might not remember the character names of the characters in Saving Private Ryan or “Band of Brothers”, but while they were happening I knew who the people were and a little bit about them. That lens does not work for Greyhound. The one character with a backstory, Tom Hanks’ Captain Krause, seems mostly stoic, but clearly there is a lot going on internally. Viewed as a character study of one person under intense pressure, the film is fine. But the film also asks us to care about the death of three USS Greyhound crewmen, only one of whom we had met. And to care about dozens of ships we barely see with crews we never meet.

One of the dead crewmen was played by Rob Morgan, who was the Ronsel’s dad in Mudbound. Morgan’s character, Cook’s Assistant Cleveland, was interestingly prominent, until his death. He kept getting the Captain coffee and trying to get the Captain to eat. It humanized the Captain and showed that there were Black men in the Navy, but not in the combat roles. This situation is indicative of the film’s biggest problem. It tries to be two things at once. For a character study, there is a ton of naval action and almost no down time before the tension gets throttled to the max, over and over for the 84 minute actual runtime. For a war movie, the plot is very onenote and repetitive.

The bottomline is that this movie was fine. Particularly considering that this is only the third movie that Tom Hanks has written. I wonder why this book spoke to him so much that he personally got involved to get this movie made. Maybe he simply realized that there was another theater of WWII that he could delve into.

The Sound of Music

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****½

The hills are alive with the sound of music.

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1965’s Academy Award Best Picture winner sits between My Fair Lady and A Man for All Seasons. I know that A Man for All Seasons has not aged well. I assume that My Fair Lady has not either. I anticipated that The Sound of Music would share the same fate. Disney + 1960s + Nazis? That is a recipe for some offensive garbage in 2020. I am pleased to report that the film was not only palatable, but truly great.

The songs were even better than I imagined, as was Julie Andrews’ performance. Young Christopher Plummer was pretty great too. The character I had no memory of, and who gave a performance on par with Andrews’ and Plummer’s, was Eleanor Parker’s Baroness. She is cast in a role that calls for her to be antagonistic to the audience’s goals, while not being evil. To be put in that position, especially in a Disney movie, I found her performance and character arc to be very human. I hope that we, as a society, continue to watch and rewatch this movie, particularly in troubling times, “when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.” I wonder if J.K. Rowling watched this movie while she was writing Goblet of Fire.

The Hurricane Heist

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**

They teach you that in PhD school?

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I like a good heist movie. To be clear, there is a difference between a good movie and a good heist movie. Oceans 13 is the best example I have for this. If you can get caught up and ignore the implausibility of all the moving parts in a heist movie, it can be wildly entertaining. With a cast featuring Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Matt Damon, it is easy to do just that. The Hurricane Heist has nobody famous in it. Ralph Ineson is the most familiar face/voice in the movie, and he is a character actor from dozens of movies I’ve seen. The result is that when George Clooney gets cute during a tense moment, it helps to cut the tension, without undermining the basis for that tension. This movie, on the other hand, has flirty treasury agent and flirty meteorologist flirting while the people they care about are held hostage during a hurricane with no help coming. It lets the air out of the balloon, instead of cutting the tension. From a viewer’s standpoint, if the main characters do not seem to care, why should I?

So, if none of the actors are famous, why does this movie have a $35M US budget? Rob Cohen. Rob Cohen, the director, is why. Rob Cohen is one of those people who have been wonderfully successful without becoming walking-down-the-street famous. His 14 movies have made $1.4B US worldwide. That’s an average of $100M US. The $30M US this movie made (only $6M domestically) drags that average down! And  cost more than that $30M to make. If only he could have gotten Vin Diesel to play a role in this movie, since that has been his ticket to success in the past with The Fast and the Furious and XXX. Maybe Vin could’ve played the storm. The storm had a CGI face a couple of times, so, maybe my idea isn’t as dumb or implausible as you might think.

Speaking of implausibility, let me tell you what I think was wrong with this so-bad-it’s-fun movie. Throwing hubcaps into the wind and slicing people to death with them. Shooting the skylight out as a storm rolls by and getting sucked up through the ceiling, but being tethered by firehoses. When they landed, on a roof or something, they didn’t die or even break their legs. Driving on a dirt road in the eye of a hurricane, dust is kicking up and there are no puddles in sight. The end of the movie has 3 tractor trailer trucks flying down an empty highway.  The villains planned to drive out in the eye of the storm and wait for it to dissipate as it got farther inland. The counterplan was to steal 2 of the trucks to force the 3rd one to slow down until the “eye wall” caught up to it and threw it into the sky.  It’s a brilliant plan except that to do so would mean that your trucks are 100 feet ahead of this wall of death, which isn’t really a wall. That plan is bad enough, but the way they coordinate it on the fly and have such a smug sense of satisfaction at their horrible plan that should get them all killed, that, along with the CGI skull-face made of clouds reappearing, made this movie THE Hurricane Heist.